Day 308: Same-Sex Attraction (2357-2363)

• It’s Day 308!!

• THE LOVE OF HUSBAND AND WIFE

• Chastity is the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being

• So sexuality has to be ORDERED

• What is sexuality ordered towards?

• Two things

• Unity of the spouses

• Procreation and raising of children

• CHASTITY AND HOMOSEXUALITY

• Homosexual acts are not ordered towards what sexuality should be ordered towards

• Homosexual acts, by their very nature, can never create life and are always going to be distorted 

• Many people in our Catechism in a Year community have this as part of their experience

• We are not flipping tables over

• We are going to talk about this as men and women who are dedicated to being disciples of Jesus

• We are going to talk about this as brothers and sisters who truly care for each other

• We are going to talk about this as sons and daughters of God, our Father

• We are pursuing the truth in love

• Let’s pray!!

Prayer by Fr. Mike: “Father in Heaven, we love you and we are loved by you. We know, we declare, that we believe that every person you have created is loved by you. Every person you have created has been willed for their own sake. Every person you have created has a destiny, and that destiny is you. That destiny is Eternity with you, to know you, to love you, and to serve you in this life so as to live with you forever in the next, in joy and in your glory, in love. Lord God, for all of us today, wherever we find ourselves on this day, we ask that you please walk with us, hold our heart, protect whatever needs to be protected, pierce whatever needs to pierced. Lord God, we ask you to melt whatever needs to be melted and break wherever our hearts need to be broken. If we have any hard heads, we ask that you please crack those open so that we also can hear your truth. Melt our hearts, so that we can love you and love our neighbors. To love your teaching and love your Word, Lord God, is our call. To live it out is possible only by your grace. So send us your Holy Spirit, Lord God. In the name of your Son, Jesus Christ, as we take this next step today, we make this prayer in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen”

• So there we have it!!

• In truth and in love, we are going to unpack what the Church teaches about same sex attraction or homosexuality

• The context for all of this is CHASTITY

• Every single one of us is made in God’s image and likeness

• Every single one of us has dignity

• Every single one of us is made for love

• Love is willing the good of the other, becoming a self-gift that is ordered and oriented towards life

• Every single one of us is good, but broken

• Every single one of us has desires that are ordered towards the good

• Every single one of us has desires that are ordered towards sin aka concupiscence

• Let’s not disengage our brains or disengage our faith when it comes to these topics

• We sometimes have a tendency to say that if a person experiences this kind of desire, that is how God made them

• God made you and sometimes you want something that is not good for you

• For example, maybe you desire to look at pornography

• Does that mean that God wants you to look at pornography?

• NO!!

• It means you are made good, but broken

• WE ARE ALL BROKEN!!

• We ALL have concupiscence

• You might be married and sexually desire someone other than your spouse

• Does that mean that God made you that way?

• NO!!

• It means you are made good, but broken

• We all have things that we desire that we have to say NO to if we are going to actually become the people God wants us to be

• Paragraphs 2357 to 2359 are not about “others”

• IT IS ABOUT ALL OF US!!

• What the Church teaches about people who experience same sex attraction is what the Church teaches about ALL OF US

• This is not an exclusive teaching

• This is a teaching for ALL OF US

• Every one of our sexual acts must be oriented towards procreation and unity, or else it is a distortion

• Even before we look at theology, let’s look at philosophy

• What is the nature of a thing?

• You can tell the nature of a thing if you know what it is for

• What is the nature of eating?

• What is eating for?

• Eating is for nourishment and pleasure

• If I know what a thing is for then I know that I can actually violate the nature of a thing

• If a person were to eat and then make themselves throw up, they are violating the nature of eating because it is for nourishment and they are preventing themselves from nourishing themselves

• Eating is also for pleasure

• There are some times when you might get done with a great meal and the waiter comes along and asks if you would like some dessert

• You answer yes not because you need nourishment but you want the pleasure of the baklava

• If you eat that baklava for pleasure, you are still taking in whatever nourishment the baklava is giving you 

• You are not working against the nature of nourishment of eating baklava just by simply eating the baklava for the pleasure of it

• Same thing with the sexual act

• If you were a scientist and merely observing what the sexual act is oriented towards, you recognize that the nature of the sexual act is oriented towards the unity of the spouses

• There are chemicals and hormones released when the couple enters into the sexual embrace that are bonding and pairing chemicals

• It is remarkable that actual monogamy is written into your very biology

• What is that for?

• It is for the unity of the spouses

• What else is it for?

• It is clearly oriented towards procreation

• Are there times where a couple may enter into the sexual embrace simply for the joy and the pleasure of the sexual embrace?

• YES!!

• Paragraph 2362 says, “‘The acts in marriage by which the intimate and chaste union of the spouses takes place are noble and honorable; the truly human performance of these acts fosters the self-giving they signify and enriches the spouses in joy and gratitude.’ Sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure: The Creator himself…established that in the [generative] function, spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit. Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment. They accept what the Creator has intended for them. At the same time, spouses should know how to keep themselves within the limits of just moderation.”

• As long as they are not violating the procreative aspect, they can seek that pleasure and enjoyment of the unity of the spouses in the sexual embrace

• Everybody entering the sexual embrace must be oriented towards unity in the sense that it can never be forced or manipulated

• Everybody entering the sexual embrace must be oriented towards procreation

• Every sexual act that is not ordered towards both of those is disordered

• Why?

• Because it violates the very NATURE of sex

• Every single one of us is created good, but broken

• Every single one of us is made in God’s image and likeness

• Every single one of us wants things that are not good for us

• Paragraph 2357 says, “Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction towards persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity, tradition has always declared that ‘homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered.’ They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.”

• This paragraph is not saying that any one person or any group of people is more intrinsically disordered than the rest of us

• We ALL have a broken sexuality

• We ALL have sexual desires that have to be said NO to

• This is ALL of us

• The Church’s teaching on same sex attraction is part of a seamless garment, it is part of a whole

• It is not exclusive

• We all know where every one of our desires come from

• We also know where every one of our broken desires come from

• We are made for love and we are made for good

• We are made for truth and beauty

• THAT comes from God

• When we want a distorted version of truth, beauty, or love, THAT comes from our brokenness

• Fr. Mike is talking now about Bible scholars and the Bible and homosexuality and he is speaking so fast that I don’t want to misinterpret what he is saying so I’m going to skip this part…sorry!!

• Scripture is very clear that homosexual ACTS are sins

• Anyone who says this is not the case is distorting Scripture for the sake of their own agenda

• Sexual complementarity is a real thing

• The human body on its own is completely intact, save for one organ system

• The reproductive system needs another complementary body in order to do what it needs to do

• There is genuine affective and sexual complementarity that is necessary in the sexual act

• Homosexual acts do not have that

• There is a big scandal happening in Germany

• The German bishops are saying that in some cases, homosexual acts can be approved

• The Church says ABSOLUTELY NOT

• Here is the Church’s teaching when it comes to the NO

• On the other hand…here is the YES

• Here is the heart of the Church

• Paragraph 2358 says, “The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.”

• Every person who is listening to this podcast knows someone or is related to someone who experiences same sex attraction

• If they are baptized they are sons and daughters of the Father

• If they are not baptized, they are made in God’s image and likeness nonetheless

• So they have intrinsic dignity 

• Therefore EVERY PERSON must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity

• UNJUST discrimination must be avoided

• There is such a thing as JUST discrimination

• Parents discriminate when it comes to who they allow their children to play with

• If there are kids down the street who are always throwing rocks at cars as they pass by, they wouldn’t want their kids doing that

• UNJUST discrimination would be if a parent doesn’t want their kid hanging out with kids of another race or ethnicity

• Our brokenness does not disqualify us from becoming the men and women that God made us to be

• Same thing with those who experience same sex attraction

• One of the things that moves all of our hearts is that when we have children, siblings, aunts, and uncles, or friends who experience same sex attraction

• One of the things that breaks our hearts is the loneliness they may experience

• Or the feeling that they have to hide a part of themselves

• That is a real difficulty

• If you are a Christian and experience same sex attraction, the Church is saying to unite to the sacrifice of Jesus’ Cross every one of your difficulties

• Paragraph 2359 says, “Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.”

• This is for ALL OF US

• We all need the apprenticeship in self-mastery in order to experience true freedom

• Let’s listen to Fr. Mike talk about Eden Invitation, a group for men and women that experience same sex attraction…

• Everyone wants to be “the one” for someone else, right?

• If you don’t have that, it is a pain in the heart

• So there is good in the support of friendship

• Everyone is made for love

• The highest form of love, according to the Greeks, is philia aka friendship

• In Christianity, we realize an even higher form of love, the self-sacrificial love of agape

• Friendship is a real good

• There is such a thing as non-romantic friendships

• This is true philia, where the Lord is pursued together

• They are helping each other in their loneliness by supporting each other

• There can sometimes be a stereotype that people have of the Church when it comes to men and women who experience same sex attraction

• They think the Church treats them like second class citizens

• AND YET…

• The Catechism says that by virtue of self-mastery, by the support of friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection

• What is that?

• THAT IS CALLED BEING A SAINT!!

• The Church is saying that this DOES NOT DISQUALIFY YOU FROM BEING A SAINT

• Yes, there are many crosses on the way to sainthood

• Let’s listen to Fr. Mike talk about the two Catholic men and one of the friends revealed he was gay…

• The one who was gay thought he couldn’t be Catholic anymore

• His friend said, “Well, what do you mean? If it wasn’t this it would be something else.”

• This is true for all of us

• There are couples who are married who are still not able to have children

• Or they had children but those children have died

• Does that mean they can’t continue to be married or that they can’t continue to pursue sainthood?

• Does that mean that they can’t continue to allow the Lord to sanctify their grief and their pain?

• NO!!

• There is no trial that has come among us that is not common to all of humanity

• Every one of us has a cross in our lives

• Many of us have multiple crosses

• Because that is how life works

• Life is good, but broken

• This world is good, but broken

• Our hearts are good, but broken

• Because of that, we all have these crosses

• We can say that we wish this cross was gone

• But if it wasn’t this cross, it would be something else

• Because it is this, we have a choice

• We can resent it

• We can give into it

• We can surrender it to Jesus and unite it to His Cross

• Gradually and resolutely, with God’s grace, we can approach Christian perfection

• THIS CROSS CAN ACTUALLY BECOME A LADDER!!

• THIS CROSS CAN ACTUALLY BE A STEPPING STONE INSTEAD OF A STUMBLING BLOCK THAT GETS US CLOSE AND CLOSER TO JESUS!!

• This is true not just about same sex attraction

• THIS IS TRUE ABOUT EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF STRUGGLING WITH!!

• If you surrender it to Jesus, it can become a ladder to heaven

• If you surrender it to Jesus, it can be a stepping stone to sanctity

• That is what God wills for you and for me

• Fr. Mike is praying FOR YOU!!

• Please pray for Fr. Mike and for each other!!

• I cannot WAIT…