Day 223: Differences in Religion in Marriage (1633-1637)

• It’s Day 223!!

• We will see what happens when there are irregularities that do not prohibit people from entering into marriage with each other, but are still things we need to be aware of 

• MIXED MARRIAGES AND DISPARITY OF CULT

• What is a mixed marriage?

• Marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic

• What is disparity of cult?

• Marriage between a Catholic and a non-baptized person

• How can couples move forward in this?

• What are some of the issues that would come up?

• Why does the Church even have a teaching on this?

• Wherever you are at right now, recognize that the prayer at the beginning of these episodes is not perfunctory

• It’s not a throwaway thing

• It is ALL OF US calling to mind God and reminding ourselves that WE ARE IN GOD’S PRESENCE IN THIS MOMENT

• Whether you are just sitting on your couch listening

• Or if you are in your car

• Or if you are on a walk or a run

• Or if you are typing out notes for a study guide 😉

• WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING, GOD IS PRESENT!!

• When we pray, we are reminding ourselves that God is present

• We are also calling upon His presence in a unique and particular way

• Let’s pray!!

Prayer by Fr. Mike: “Father in Heaven, we give you glory and we thank you for bringing us to this day. We thank you for the gift of life. We thank you for your teaching. We thank you for the vocations that you have called us to, various vocations, some that are named in these episodes, and some that are not named in these episodes. We thank you for the variety that exists in your Church. And we ask you to please, wherever we find ourselves, whatever our state in life, whatever vocation we find ourselves in, help us to be faithful to that. Help us to not resent other people’s vocations. Help us to be confident that whatever it is that we are, as long as we are saying YES to you, it is exactly where we should be, because it is exactly where we meet you. We make this prayer in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen”

• So there we have it!!

• MIXED MARRIAGES AND DISPARITY OF CULT

• Mixed marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic

• Someone who is Catholic married to a Lutheran, or Evangelical, etc.

• Disparity of cult where a Catholic marries a non-baptized person like someone who is Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, atheist, etc.

• Paragraph 1633 says, “In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a non-baptized person) requires even greater circumspection.”

• The Church does not look down on other religions

• The Church does not look down on other Christian communities

• BUT…

• We do believe different things

• We do believe that the FULLNESS OF TRUTH subsists in the Catholic Church

• We do believe that the FULLNESS OF DISCIPLESHIP subsists in the Catholic Church 

• So that might be an issue

• Now if couples DO NOT CARE, there might be no issue

• If couples are not trying to follow the Lord and do God’s Will, then maybe there is no issue

• BUT…

• Holy Matrimony is a SACRAMENT OF SERVICE 

• Holy Matrimony is a SACRAMENT OF DISCIPLESHIP

• This is the way in which I am planning on pursuing the Lord

• This is the way in which I am planning on serving the Church and building up the Kingdom of God

• Let that be the framework

• With that in mind mixed marriages have issues

• Disparity of cult is a pretty big issue

• AND YET…

• Paragraph 1634 says, “Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ.”

• Can couples help each other get close to Christ, even if they are not of the same faith?

• It is possible

• It is not an insurmountable obstacle

• It is not necessarily an impediment

• Paragraph 1634 continues, “But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome.”

• Let’s listen to Fr. Mike’s story about two couples…

• Both couples said that if they had to do it over again, they would marry someone who shared the same faith 

• Yes they were happy couples

• They raised their children relatively successfully

• They loved each other

• They even liked each other 😉

• So why would they have married someone of the same faith if they had to do it over?

• Because it was so hard

• Marriage on its own is so difficult

• But to not be united in faith, it makes it EVEN MORE DIFFICULT

• Not only that, but how do you raise your children?

• Because if one person is Hindu and sincerely believes that Hinduism is the way to go and the Catholic person sincerely believes that Jesus Christ is the way to go, what do they tell their kids?

• Here’s another Fr. Mike story about a Catholic and an atheist….no, they did not walk into a bar!!!!... 😉

• So when it comes to covenanting your life to someone, how do you do that when you believe the other person is completely wrong about the most important question in life?

• Does God exist or does God not exist?

• How do you reconcile that?

• WHAT WE BELIEVE ACTUALLY MATTERS!!

• Paragraph 1634 continues, “The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home.”

• The temptation to religious indifference that arises when the person you have covenanted yourself with is not pursing the Lord with their WHOLE HEART, MIND, SOUL, AND STRENGTH

• There are many stories of couples where one was not religious and they still got married and then the person had a conversion to the Catholic Church

• Let’s listen to Fr. Mike’s story about a Deacon he worked with…

• Is it wise? 

• There might be a couple where both were Catholic and it didn’t work out

• That’s a real thing too

• Just because a husband and wife both profess being Catholic does not mean they are going to stay united

• It does not mean they are going to love and honor each other in the way that they are promising to honor and love each other

• It’s not just because I check a certain box that I am able to move forward in Matrimony or because I can’t check a certain box that I’m not able to move forward in Matrimony

• The Church is inviting people to be sober and prudent in making this massively important decision

• Especially because this does not just involve the couple

• The good of marriage is not only the good of the spouses, but the procreation and education of children

• The point of marriage is being able to bring new life into this world and to raise that new life in such a way that glorifies and honors God

• THAT IS THE WHOLE POINT!!

• The whole point of getting married is to help your spouse become a SAINT and to help whatever children come out of this marriage to become SAINTS

• THAT IS THE POINT!!

• Even though marriage is ordered to the procreation of children, we know not every couple is able to have biological children

• In those cases, couples may choose to adopt 

• Or they can still live out a fruitful marriage through love, charity, hospitality, sacrifice

• That is what we are all called to

• So is the way we are setting up our family orienting us more and more clearly towards becoming saints with each other and helping our children become saints?

• All of these things are very important

• If there is a mixed marriage or if there is a disparity of cult, the Church has the ability to give permission or a dispensation from that

• That typically comes from the Bishop

• AND YET…

• The Catholic party will always have to make the declaration and promise that they are Catholic and intend to continue to be Catholic for the rest of my life

• At the same time I respect the conscience of my future partner in marriage in that they do not believe what I believe and we do not believe what each other believes totally and completely

• So I intend to do everything I can to see that our children are baptized and educated as Catholics

• That is the declaration the Catholic party makes

• The non-Catholic party has to know that and be aware of that

• Yes, the Catholic party is not planning on not being Catholic

• The kids are going to be baptized and raised and educated as Catholics

• Not just getting Baptized and never going to Church again

• There are people who are listening and we all have different backgrounds

• Some of us have experienced the brokenness of this

• Some have experienced so much fruit that came out of the differences

• Some have even had conversions that happened because of the marriage

• Some have kids that are alive in faith and that is amazing

• These are all good things and Fr. Mike is not diminishing the reality of them

• Yes, conversion is possible

• Yes, a flourishing family is possible

• God’s plan is marriage under the regime of sin

• We do not live in a Catholic country, or even necessarily a Christian country

• We live in a country with a lot of pluralism

• Maybe you could not find a Catholic spouse, or someone who believed everything you believe who was also a really good, noble person

• Wherever we find ourselves, whether it is unmarried or married to someone we don’t share the Faith with, the call of the moment ALWAYS SAY YES TO GOD

• What is the life that God is presenting right in front of us?

• It is not necessarily going to be perfect because we live in an imperfect world

• We live in a broken world

• AND YET…

• Every one of us is called to give God our YES in this moment

• To give God our YES in this circumstance

• So whatever circumstance you might find yourself in…

• Whatever moment you might find yourself in…

• Whatever season you might find yourself in…

• That does not mean you can’t be a SAINT

• That does not mean you can’t say YES to God

• Because that is what it is to be a saint

• SAY YES TO GOD AND NEVER STOP SAYING YES!!

• We live in this imperfect world

• BUT…

• We always have the opportunity and the invitation from God to say yes

• We want to say YES to God right now

• Wherever you are right now in your vocation, whatever the circumstance or season is…

• JUST SAY YES!!

• Fr. Mike is praying FOR YOU!!

• Please pray for Fr. Mike and for each other!!

• I cannot WAIT to see you tomorrow!!